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Monobrow (2008)

by Monobrow

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1.
The Whore Of Browbylon (free) 00:47
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THE WHORE OF BROWBYLON We hold these truths to be self-evident that all unibrows are created equally Great is the day when we shall say “Fallen is the whore who tweezes brows away!” Rise up and chant down Browbylon! The blind leading the blind to hell To Hades they fall, with two brows they dwell Self-tweezing journey to the abyss The Whore of Browbylon betrayed them with a kiss!
2.
Last Brow Standing (free) 00:32
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LAST BROW STANDING All my so-called friends Pluck, tweeze, wax, and thread Seems like I’m the only one left So I put Rogaine there I want a unibrow dread...starting between my eyes, down to my chin And though everyone else sold out I’ll be the last brow standing!
3.
The Epic Tale Of The One-Browed Maiden (free) 00:56
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THE EPIC TALE OF THE ONE-BROWED MAIDEN One night while she slept so well Lookin pretty hot with a unibrow above her eyes Then some two-browed haters snuck inside And plucked her brows to make two separate sides With heavy heart and tearful eyes She awoke and began to fight She commenced to take her enemy’s life The one-browed maiden would prevail tonight Baby got brow!!!
4.
Tweeze This! (An Ode To Frida) (free) 00:29
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TWEEZE THIS! (AN ODE TO FRIDA) When times are hard and people laugh Because you have hair between your eyes And they suggest you get it fixed Give them the finger and tell them this: Tweeze this!! What would Frida do? She had a unibrow and a mustache too!
5.
Don't Thread On Me (free) 00:22
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DON’T THREAD ON ME I don’t care how long it’s been done Or where it came from Gandhi didn’t do it Don’t thread on me!
6.
You're Plucked, You Dumb Plucker (free) 00:24
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YOU’RE PLUCKED, YOU DUMB PLUCKER Sellout! Sellout! You had the biggest brow ever Sellout! Sellout! Hairy treasure from left to right Sellout! Sellout! Then you plucked it all one night Sellout! Sellout! You ungrateful fool!
7.
Waxing Is A Sign Of Solidarity With The Devil (free) 00:20
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WAXING IS A SIGN OF SOLIDARITY WITH THE DEVIL Lay down upon the altar of Satan Located at your local salon They’ll smear upon you the wax made in hell And with a rip unholy blasphemies you’ll yell Damn your soul for two brows Damn your soul for not one
8.
When Emo Boys And Metalcore Bands Tweeze (free) 00:14
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WHEN EMO BOYS AND METALCORE BANDS TWEEZE You swapped your manhood for eyeliner, bad haircuts, and tight jeans Emo is a joke, Metalcore’s played out And both scenes are wack cuz they tweeze their stupid brows
9.
Da Unity Above My Eyes (free) 00:10
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DA UNITY ABOVE MY EYES You want world peace so you demonstrate and protest Kill the flowers and bathe, you hippies! Above my eyes is a true model of peace and unity
10.
To The Advancement Of Our Glorious Hairy Kingdom (free) 00:27
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TO THE ADVANCEMENT OF OUR GLORIOUS HAIRY KINGDOM We hold this Inquisition, this Crusade to convert all In the name of Monobrow And for all: justice and unibrows! Convert or die tonight!
11.
Pluck You! (free) 00:22
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PLUCK YOU (ONE IS BETTER THAN TWO) Hail Synophris! You think you’re better cuz you have two brows instead of one Pluck you! You think you’re cool Pluck you! You fashion fool And what about the cholas that draw their brows with Sharpie markers? Pluck you! You’re not that cool Pluck you! I bet you drool Pluck you! That empty space... Pluck you! ...is the mark of the beast!
12.
Death Before Electrolysis (free) 00:51
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DEATH BEFORE ELECTROLYSIS Burn the esthetician! Burn down all salons! Burn down Hollywood for telling us that unibrows aren’t sexy! For one is better than two by far And two will never be better than one

about

Songs 4,5,7,9,11 are from “The One Is Better Than Two” EP (2006)
Songs 1,2,3,6,8,10,12 are from “The Two Is Not Better Than One” EP (2008)

credits

released January 1, 2008

All music, unintelligible lyrics, cheap instruments, low budget recording, regrettable mixing, and attempted producing by The Unibrowmer.

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all rights reserved

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Monobrow Isle of Man

Super Greg, Salizhan Sharipov, Frida Kahlo, and Bert: unashamed bearers of the majestic unibrow. Monobrow only hopes to pay such high heavy metal praise and homage to those who have so majestically worn the hairy badge of courage in the advancement of our glorious and hairy kingdom!
NEW SONG COMING MID-LATE 2019!!! ... more

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